Whether your daily coffee habits take place in solace at your kitchen table, in morning rush hour on the freeway, or surrounded by small-talking co-workers in the break room (or all three some days), coffee is what keeps us going. So it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that we can instinctively get a little obsessive, sentimental, and heck, even romantic about the magic, caffeinated bean potion. Here are some of the wisest, deepest, sweetest, and sappiest coffee quotes ever uttered by humans (as well as a few that just made us LOL).
“It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.”
-Donna A. Favors
You noticed that too? I thought it was just me!
“I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.”
-Clark Gable
Nope. It’s impossible.
“We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”
-Jerry Seinfeld
As usual, Jerry totally gets it.
“Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”
-David Letterman
And we always thought it was water in those “Late Show” mugs on Dave’s desk.
“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”
-Dave Barry
How is this not already a law?
“I don’t know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.”
-Gary Larson
It’s like he’s reading our collective minds.
“Never say no to coffee.”
-Cesar
That settles it. I’m totally getting this tattooed on my body later today.
“I do not question anyone anymore. I drink coffee and I live.”
-Tahar Ben Jelloun
I just have one question. Where’s the coffee?
“People don’t seem as annoying when I’ve got coffee.”
-Tommy Cotton, Promises
Huh. Looks like I’m getting two tattoos today.
“The Lord must have created coffee to reward humans for those bad times they sometimes have on Earth.”
-Sahara Sanders, INDIGO DIARIES: A Series of Novels
I mean that’s really the only explanation I can think of.
“Life isn’t sugarcoated. Why should coffee be?”
-Tommy Wallach, Thanks for the Trouble
That’s a good point (but I’m not giving up my sugar). Sorry, not sorry.
“Don’t ever let anyone tell you that fairy tales aren’t real. I drink a potion made from magic beans every day, and it brings me back to life.”
-Nanea Hoffman
Sometimes four or five times a day. But who’s counting?
“Asking me to do ANYTHING before I’ve had my first cup of coffee should be an episode on 1000 Ways to DIE.”
-Comic Strip Mama
A little grim…but not entirely inaccurate.
“A silent yawn is a scream for coffee.”
-T. Haque
I guess I’d never thought of it like that. But I’m going to start!
“May your coffee kick in before reality does.”
-Unknown
This needs to be on a mug (a big one).
“The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he drinks.”
-Sir James MacKintosh
-If true, I think I might be underutilizing mine.
“Sometimes, they just make coffee cups too small.”
-Michelle M. Pillow
Just leave the carafe, please. Thanks.